Monday Musings

I’m tired of feeling like everything I put on this blog needs to feel like a complete work, so onto the opposite of bigger and better things. Smaller and shittier, maybe? That works for me.

  • Shingles sucks. I know this is quite a revelation, but there it is. Smaller and shittier, like I said.
  • Being barred from work due to an infectious skin condition is really not as fun as it sounds. I can’t even enjoy the time off because, aside from the excruciating pain and inability to sleep, I feel horribly guilty for leaving my coworkers short-handed. I actually apologized to my supervisor when I told her the doctor confirmed it was shingles, as if I had plotted to develop full body herpes to avoid work.

Continue reading “Monday Musings”

Let Me See That Tootsie Roll

the faces have been hidden to protect the innocent

I went to the best middle school, like, ever. It was a GATE (gifted and talented education) school named Computech, and all the students there had to be accepted based on academic merit. I suspect there was a cultural/racial component to the admissions process as well, because it was a pretty diverse school located in a predominantly black part of town. This seeming duality – because in America “good school” and “black neighborhood” are not seen as naturally coexisting – gave the school an awesome character and a not-so-awesome reputation.

The perception of the school within the community was abundantly clear when I was asked, on more than one occasion, whether or not I had been “in a drive-by” while on campus. The people who asked this – because they weren’t just kids, either – always professed to have heard some story or other about kids in PE class having to “hit the ground” because of passing gunfire. This was patently ridiculous, as even the security guards who worked at the school were adamant that it was one of the safest in the city, but this impression of the school as a dangerous one persisted nonetheless. Continue reading “Let Me See That Tootsie Roll”

Stuff I Like: Tom Waits – Bella Ciao

Patron saint of my preschool mornings and of this blog, Tom Waits, just released his first new song in two years. It’s a remake of an old Italian folk ballad that was an anthem of Italian anti-fascist fighters during World War II. Timely, no?

This clearly wasn’t a coincidental parallel either, as you can see with the accompanying video which features footage from recent anti-Trump protests.

The song is a fab collab with Marc Ribot from his upcoming album Songs of Resistance 1948-2018. Time to put that one on my radar. Mille grazie, Bella Ciao. 😘

Death Around the Corner

When I die, fuck it, I wanna go to hell
Cuz I’m a piece of shit, it ain’t hard to fuckin tell
– “Suicidal Thoughts,” Notorious B.I.G.

Funerals are dumb. They are typically overly theatrical and overly expensive and overly stressful for the people who are most in need of the emotional support that funerals are supposed to offer. I’m pretty sure that we’re all on the same page about the fact that funerals are for the living rather than the dead, but as a future dead person myself, I would hope that the wishes of the recently departed would have some bearing on the not-so-festivities that take place in their honor.

My family all knows my feelings on this matter. I don’t want to be buried – burn my ass and do what you will with my ashes. Whatever is most meaningful to them works for me, as long as none of me ends up in Boston. Because fuck those racist motherfuckers. Continue reading “Death Around the Corner”

Insane in the Brain

There are different levels of crazy. Everyone in my family is certifiable, but we each occupy different rungs on the ladder of insanity. The top rung in my mind has always been firmly held by my grandfather, my mom’s dad, although in retrospect I recognize that he and his siblings may have an entire tower all to themselves. After all, it’s hard to compete for that top spot when your sister has managed to end up at sea with the Coast Guard after a one night stand with a sailor, forcing them to divert course and drop her off at the nearest port. It’s also hard to beat a brother who didn’t leave his house for twenty years, or the myriad others with substance abuse issues of all sorts, but I still believe my grandpa holds his own nonetheless.

He was from an extremely poor family in rural Arkansas and grew up with eight brothers and sisters. He never forgot growing up hungry or sharing a bed with all those siblings. That feeling of being cramped next to so many people never left him, and he blamed his hatred of crowded areas on this experience. It makes sense, but I doubt that’s the true origin of his phobia, mostly because social anxiety pops up in multiple members of the family. The distaste toward being touched by just about anyone is carried forward in both my mom and me, and god knows I was never forced to cuddle with anyone against my will. Continue reading “Insane in the Brain”

My Brother’s Keeper

I didn’t want my brother. That sounds kinda harsh, but it’s the truth. I was almost ten when he was born, my sister was almost five, and I felt like our family had plenty of people in it already. I’m not sure why I felt that way, but I was none too enthusiastic about his imminent arrival.

I was invested enough in the idea of him that I tortured my mom in her search for a name for him. She knew his middle name would be Michael, after her youngest brother, but we battled for months over whether his first name would be John (her choice) or David (mine). John was a fine name in the abstract, but I was adamant that “John Michael” sounded like a male model and that was simply unacceptable. In the end, she gave in and I got to pick his name. We all agree now that it was the right call. (You’re welcome.) Continue reading “My Brother’s Keeper”

Stuff I Like: Fabio Quagliarella

This doesn’t have much to do with my typical topics here, but I guess you could say moments of brilliance in sports are a key piece of my daily struggle for sanity. And this one is almost off the scale of brilliance.

This is a golazo, or wonder goal, by Fabio Quagliarella, in a match in Serie A, Italy’s top soccer league, between Sampdoria and Napoli. I have been a fan of Napoli’s new coach, Carlo Ancelotti, since his days as the coach of AC Milan when I first started watching soccer. So while I am very much pulling for him in his new position, I was absolutely in awe when Napoli’s opponent on the day went up 3-0 after this incredible strike from Quags. He has a history of scoring incredible goals, and this one fits right in with his greatest hits. So just take this in, and then go look for his career highlights because they are amazing as well. 🤭

Stuff I Like: Dissect Podcast

I’ve never been able to listen to either audio books or podcasts. Reading physical copies of books has been a fundamental part of my life for so long that digesting them in a different way still seems wrong to me. On top of that, any time I have a chance to be listening to music and I’m not feels like a wasted opportunity. So while I love reading and taking in new information more generally, it’s hard for me to give up potential music time for anything else.

That all changed with Dissect. I had completely missed out on this podcast – and all others – until earlier this year, when it became affiliated with Spotify and started popping up on my recommendations. I had never bothered to even look into the world of podcasts available to me before, but the promise of detailed analysis of Kendrick Lamar’s To Pimp A Butterfly proved to be too much of a temptation to pass up. Continue reading “Stuff I Like: Dissect Podcast”

Memories of Miseducation

The twentieth anniversary of The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill is quite an occasion for a number of important cultural reasons. For me, it’s mostly a reminder of just how old I am, as 1998 still feels like a decade ago at most. I now regularly ultrasound pregnant patients who were born after Tupac died, and each time I sprout a new gray hair. But back to 1998, I was fifteen years old and offered up Ms. Hill’s debut album as a gift idea for my grandma, who wanted to buy me a present for some random reason. She was (and is) generally clueless about such things as popular music, so she walked into the store and asked one of the employees to help her find the album. They searched the entire store for a good fifteen minutes before the poor guy finally discovered it on a separate display in a corner of the store. Because of this, my grandma thought this was some unknown artist whose rise I had predicted. When Lauryn Hill took home all those damn Grammy’s the next year, my grandma was convinced that I was some kind of musical clairvoyant who could pluck future talent out of thin air. Which would be great if it were true, as A&R of Def Jam sounds infinitely sexier than OB/GYN radiologist. But I digress.

I devoured that album from the moment I got it. My friends and I were just learning to drive at the time, and we listened to it in the car on the way to study sessions. I played it in my headphones while I set the table for dinner. I bumped it in the bathroom while I took showers, and I sat with the liner notes, reading the lyrics until I knew them all by heart. I discussed its awesomeness and debated over the best songs with my best bus friend as we delved into Ms. Hill’s controversial interviews and political stances. I had acquired a decent music collection by this point and had plenty of favorites, but this was one of the first albums I truly engaged with to such an extent, because it virtually demanded such attention. From the beats to the lyrics to the level of discourse, this was a piece of art to be reckoned with. Continue reading “Memories of Miseducation”

Stuff I Like: Maurice Cheeks

Sports have always been a big part of my life, but I got all the way caught up around 4th grade, when I fell head over heels for basketball. I played it at every opportunity and watched every game I had access to. I bought used copies of old basketball-themed VHS tapes from the local rental shop and watched retrospectives on teams and players I loved. I had one that recounted the story of the Lakers in the 80s called “The Drive For Five” about their incredible run of championships during that decade. I had another one called “Michael Jordan’s Playground,” a movie which was essentially an MJ highlight reel book-ended by a cheesy story of a boy being cut from his high school basketball team. I remember watching this one with my sister while eating elbow noodles with parmesan cheese. When she got mad at me for brushing my crumbs onto her lap, she yelled, “You’re getting that on my nerves!” Dork. Continue reading “Stuff I Like: Maurice Cheeks”